5 Things I learned When I Stopped The Self Hate

Woman looking in mirror

In today’s world, it’s easy to get caught up in other people’s seemingly perfect looks. On the surface, we know that the airbrushed model isn’t real, but for some reason, we keep holding ourselves to that impossible standard. After I had my first daughter I decided the self-hate needed to stop. She’ll have a lifetime to hear others call themselves ugly, and strive for the impossible. She didn’t need to hear it daily in her own home as well. Here are five tips that helped me feel more comfortable in my own skin. 

I found things about myself I actually liked. 

When I first started this journey I made a habit of complimenting myself every time I had something negative to say about my appearance. Eventually, I started finding more to be grateful for than to criticize.

I stopped being so harsh about other peoples appearances. 

Of course, I would never say something mean to another person, but I took notice of their flaws. It’s amazing that when I found confidence in myself I found myself looking at the best in others, too. 

I started realizing the clothes didn’t fit right, not that I didn’t fit the clothes. 

When you start feeling better about yourself, shopping isn’t the end of the world. Instead of crying because I didn’t fit into the sweater, I threw it back on the hanger and got a different size or style. Because you know what? Someone with your ideal body also tries on clothes that make a garbage bag look like a better choice. 

I found myself enjoying time with my kids at the pool instead of worrying about what I looked like in a swimsuit.

Do you have a body? Is it summer? Then you have a summer body! Find something that makes you feel comfortable, even if it’s a t-shirt, and hit the water with your kids! They’re only young once. Plus, 20 years from now you’ll look back on those times and long for the body you once had. 

I was able to find a healthier mindset about eating right to fuel my body instead of dieting to look better.

Sure, I would be super happy if I lost some weight. But I would be even happier if I felt strong, healthy, and provided good food for my family. This is the first time I’ve really been able to stick to a diet because my mind isn’t thinking about everything I can’t eat. Instead, I’m focusing on how much better I feel. And of course, I throw in a cheat day every now and then! 

So, mom to mom, I challenge you to go one week being kind to yourself. If you find yourself starting up with the self-hate, give yourself a compliment. Also, put that negative thought in a sentence about your child. Saying that to your child sounds pretty horrible, right? So why say it about yourself? You and your body have done amazing things, it’s time to start loving it! 

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