Dad Thoughts: Busy is a Four Letter Word

Join us on the weekends in June as we celebrate parenthood from another perspective – the dad side! We’ve asked some great friends of Bloomington Moms Blog to join us and explore fatherhood, marriage, parenting and life with us. Look for our dad thoughts every Saturday this month!

Heading into this year, I caught myself in a conversational rut, of sorts. Friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances, folks all across the spectrum would ask, “How’s life? How’s business?” And my response? “Busy!”

While not untrue, it became repetitive, and an overly easy, canned retort to a question that deserved a better response. And, as I started to catch myself doing it more and more, or simply realizing how much I did it in the first place, I also became painfully aware of how often others did it, too.

So when it came time to make a New Year’s resolution, I’ll give you a single guess as to what mine was.

Treat “Busy” like a four-letter word. 

Our lives are occupied by jobs, activities, events, and countless other occasions that are a reflection of who we are and what we care about. Kids, family, friends, work: those things are far more than “busy”. Being busy doesn’t earn you a trophy. It is part of this season of life and it comes with the territory. The things we care about deserve to be celebrated and cherished. They deserve more than being relegated to a four-letter word.

Why does this matter so much to me, and why did it irk me so when I realized what I had done?  

My biggest fear as a parent is quite simple: will my kids know who I am? Not my name, or even my hobbies, but will they really know me? Will they know the superhero-loving, bad joke cracking, goober of a father that God entrusted to love and care for them? And, will they know how much I love their mother? Will they know that my greatest hope for them isn’t a job or a career, but rather that they love their fellow man, and that they are firm enough in their faith that they are willing to question it when needed?  

I hope I’m on this Earth for decades to come and get to spend the next 60 years celebrating the life that Kate and I have built together. However, that’s not my chapter to write. No matter how much control we think we have, we aren’t the ones that decide how our story ends.

Years from now, when people talk about me as a husband, parent, and friend, how will they remember me? Will people remember me for what I poured my life and time into? Will they remember me for the legacy I left through my children? And, will they remember me for the impact I made on a community I love, through a business I am immensely proud to be a part of?

I can’t fully control how I am remembered, so what I can control?

  • My friends will know I always have time for them in my life.
  • I always have time to throw a ball in the yard or play “sharptooth” in our living room with my family.
  • My wife knows I will always make time to date her, no matter how many years passed.
  • My kids know that while my work is important, that their school play or tennis match will always be more important. 

To put it simply, I can control that my life won’t be defined by a four letter word. The next time someone asks, neither should yours.


JJ Photo

Josh is from Scottsburg, IN, but came to Bloomington in 2006 to attend IU. Bloomington quickly became home, and he met his wife, Kaitlyn, a teacher at Highland Park Elementary, shortly after graduating in 2010. After a stint in local law enforcement with IUPD and BPD, Josh joined Bill C. Brown Associates in 2011, and has been proudly serving the community in that capacity ever since. Josh and Kate have a 2 year old son (Landry), a 7 year old pup (Beckett), and will be adding another boy to the family this October. Josh is an avid Hoosier sports fan and tennis player, and loves connecting people to things they are passionate about. You can regularly find him where there are free refills on coffee.

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