As we come upon Mother’s Day, I reflect on my infertility journey which started in 2013. For a long time, I didn’t know if I ever would be a mom. Infertility affects so many people and is especially hard this month for those yearning to be mothers. My own journey was hard, but it ended well. I pray for those still fighting the witch known as infertility and hope each of your journey ends successfully.
This poem is a tribute to my journey through infertility.
Her first pregnancy was a miscarriage,
Never finding a heartbeat,
Losing the baby before barely pregnant,
But she was the lucky one, they’ll say, it was only her first pregnancy.
Her second pregnancy was so quick after the first,
Things looked better this time,
Bloodwork came back with great results,
But she was the lucky one, they’ll say, it was only her second pregnancy.
But then the spotting started just like the first,
And lingered on for weeks
The pain came and she knew it was over,
But she was the lucky one, they’ll say, she was only 9 weeks.
Two years went by with spotting and negative tests,
Constant reminders of her empty womb,
Facebook baby announcements every day sent her into crying fits,
But she was the lucky one, they’ll say, it had only been two years.
She went to see a specialist who ran all the fertility tests,
And nothing came back wrong,
They tried some pills for ovulation, but still no positive test.
But she was the lucky one, they’ll say, there was nothing wrong with her.
The next step was insemination with hormonal injections,
To start next month,
She gave herself shots in the belly to mature an egg and ovulate.
But she was the lucky one, they’ll say, needles didn’t bother her.
Insemination day came and went,
She began the two-week wait,
With progesterone suppositories to support the baby,
But she was the lucky one, they’ll say, it was only $1500 for this month.
The morning of test day came and she could barely sleep,
She took the test and waited,
After three long minutes a faint plus, but a plus all the same,
But she was the lucky one, they’ll say, a blood test confirmed pregnant first try.
At 6 weeks a heartbeat confirmed,
Finally a breath of relief and joy,
But two days later bleeding started,
But she was the lucky one, they’ll say, it was only a polyp.
Progesterone suppositories turned to large needle injections,
That hurt and left bruises,
That had to be done by someone else in her back,
But she was the lucky one, they’ll say, she only had to do it for the 12 weeks.
Two miscarriages and two years of infertility,
Several rounds of Clomid and countless ultrasounds,
Multiple injections and needles,
But she was the lucky one, for the sweet baby lying in her arms was worth it.