My baby girl is turning one! That means I survived my first year of motherhood. I’m torn between celebration and sadness. I’m not sure if these are happy tears or sad tears. [Insert all of the emotions!]
Celebrating Her First Year with Sad & Happy Tears
I celebrate my daughter’s milestones and remember them well. The growth she has experienced during her first 12 months of her life is amazing. All of her “firsts” have brought me to happy tears. Her transition from complete dependence on me to small glimpses of independence is exciting. From rolling over to crawling to almost walking, I love how she keeps me on my toes.
I shed tears of sadness remembering how small my baby used to be. It’s funny how quickly we can forget the little moments after carrying around an 11-month-old all day. I miss the newness of her life. Not only was everything new for her, but everything was new and scary for me as a first-time mom. I miss the wonder in her eyes when the wind blew her hair for the first time. And, I miss hearing her soft coos and noises when she slept in our room.
I Will Never Be The Same
But, amidst all the happy and sad memories, one thing is for certain: I will never be the same. I now carry the beautiful title of “Mama” for the rest of my life. It is difficult to understand a mother’s love for her baby until you experience it firsthand.
The love I feel for my daughter is powerful. It runs deep inside of my mind, body, and spirit.
Sometimes I can’t believe how much I think about her and her well-being. I truly feel that her smile is my smile. Her tears are my tears. A part of me is living in her and, like I said, I will never be the same.
I’d like to give you a glimpse of the love I have for my daughter as she enters her twelfth month of life. I am sure you can relate to my feelings as you think back to when your firstborn turned one. A special milestone, to say the least. Here are a few words from this Mama’s heart:
Happy 1st Birthday, sweet girl! I love you from your head to your toes. You’re my girl, forever.
- I love your little head. The head with only a few strays of blonde hair. We are still waiting for your hair to really grow but there’s no doubt your brain is developing under those hair roots. I can almost see the gears of your brain turning as you turn the pages in a book or try to stack a tower of blocks.
- I love your bright eyes. Bright blue eyes to be exact. You study all the details with wide eyes. You always notice if something is out of place (like a toy on mommy’s head). I’ll never forget the sweet moment we first locked eyes. An instant connection.
- I love your mouth and all the screams and squeals it provides. Your jibber jabber is my current favorite. And, your smile has always melted my heart.
- I love your heart that beats fast when you exude so much energy. Yours is a heart full of compassion that knows when I need a slobbery, open-mouth kiss.
- I love your belly, especially when it is plump full of food. It’s that same belly your Daddy blows raspberries on and makes us all laugh!
- I love your knees which have supported you for several months now. You have countless bruises to prove the dependence on your little knees.
- I love your feet which will support you for a lifetime. Your feet will carry you all over the world. But, I pray they will often lead you back home to me.
Happy birthday, my sweet. I cannot wait to see what year two brings.