We’ve all been there. Pre-children and walking around the mall when it happens… a child throws themselves on the ground and screams. You look at the parent, mortified for them, and see them standing by the child watching this meltdown occur. You think to yourself, “I will never allow my kids to do that.” Or you see a mom on the playground looking at her phone instead of engaging with her child and you immediately think, “How can she not be watching the joy on her child’s face as they make their way down the slide? When I’m a mom, I will always be engaged.” And that’s where it begins.
I will not give my child cookies for breakfast.
And then you’re there… in the kitchen trying to finish cooking scrambled eggs before rushing off to work. Your toddler (can you call her that already?) is at your feet losing their mind and you reach into the cabinet and pull out the first pack of snacks you can find. You toss them at your child and try to finish cooking as fast as you can. When you’re buckling your child into their seat at the table, it hits you. My child just ate Nilla wafers for breakfast. When did I become this person?
You’ve always been this mom… you just didn’t know it yet.
I will not let my child have screen time at the restaurant/until they’re older.
Oh, that beautiful, naïve, young person that I used to be. Do you have any idea what that mother has been through today? Yes, having children is so rewarding. Yes, your heart explodes every time they smile up at you. Yes, you need that 5 minutes of silence while they’re on their tablets to have one meaningful conversation with your girlfriend. It might be the only adult conversation you have that week. It might be the only time you’ll see that friend in person for months. That five minutes is crucial, whether it is at the restaurant, at home, or at the grocery store. You will find yourself relying on some sort of screen at one point or another whilst raising those smart, wonderful children of yours.
I will not let my child throw a tantrum in public. I will also not negotiate with tiny people.
Oh, ladies. The number of times I have told myself these two lies. These are warring statements. The two methods to deal with a tantrum are to a) completely ignore the tantrum thrower, or b) negotiate with the tiny person to momentarily placate them. If I am home, I can totally ignore the tantrum. No positive reinforcement for said behavior. (I am, obviously, a superstar mom behind closed doors. Ha!) If we are in public… it’s a toss-up. If I think the fit will be short-lived, I will let my child have her moment and not give in to the stares from others. If the fit goes into full-blown tantrum mode, I miiiiiight sometimes give in and give them whatever they need to make it through the trip to the store as fast as possible. Moms are humans, too.
I will cook dinner for my child most nights and each dinner will include a veggie and a fruit.
Let’s get real for a minute. I was not a cook before my daughter was born. I don’t know why I thought I would suddenly become one once she was eating solid foods. I still strive to get a veggie and a fruit in the meal somewhere, but sometimes I just do not succeed. Every now and then I make a full blown meal and get to sit down with my girl and eat a good dinner. Most of the time, her plate is more like tapas… a little bit of meat, a little bit of pasta, some veggies, and some fruit for dessert. And you know what? She loves it! Finger foods are my toddler’s jam! So maybe I can give myself a little slack on this one.
I’ll sleep train my baby before going back to work.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
I will absolutely use this expensive stroller/high chair/teaching toy.
Maybe you’re a mom who uses that fancy contraption that you just had to have before your child was born. For me, and other moms like me, that stroller and high chair spend a lot of time in closets gathering dust or in the corner of the dining room holding the bills and miscellaneous papers. I get more use out of the travel high chair than I get with the really nice high chair I thought I’d be using for every meal. Maybe my mother was right and some of these baby supplies should have waited until after I had my child.
I am an okay mom.
False. You are a spectacular mom. If you are raising tiny humans… getting them out of bed, keeping them clothed and fed, loving on them, giving baths, providing a home and a bed for them, YOU ARE A SUPERSTAR MOM. You are a saint. Raising these tiny people is hard. Being a parent is tough and sometimes feels so lonely. But look at you out there doing the thing! I’m proud of you, mamas. And you should be, too.