This summer, I will turn 40. If I am being totally honest, I have been dreading this upcoming birthday for many years. My husband would tell you I have been dreading this birthday since I turned 30. To me, 40 means middle age. It means wrinkles and aches and pains and gray hair and early bird specials and going to bed early. (My youngest son recently asked me what it was like to live in the old days.) It feels like more than just another day or a new year of life. It feels like a big deal!
Time to Grow Up?
To me, being 40 means really being an adult. I still see myself as a kid sometimes. This is me:
- I still listen to 90’s rap with my windows down (kids not in the car, of course) and sing at the top of my lungs.
- I still have dance parties almost nightly (kids involved, of course).
- I still love to hide and jump out and scare people (yes, mainly my kids).
- I still love a good party to celebrate just about anything.
How can I possibly be an adult?
Now that I am writing this, maybe things don’t have to change.
I can still be 40 and do all the things I like to do.
Maybe 40 is just a number and not as big of a deal as I thought. Maybe I can even bring my kids along for the ride. I can still be my crazy self and have three sidekicks!
Now that I think about it, turning 40 actually makes me feel powerful. I have more wisdom and life experience and I lived to tell about my 20’s and 30’s. I care a lot less about what people think of me. It’s freeing to know that not everyone has to like me. If you don’t like my 90’s rap, I don’t care!
Yes, I have laugh lines. That means I have smiled, laughed, and had a lot of happiness in my life. I have body parts that are sagging and scars and stretch marks, but they all tell a story of a moment in my life that made me who I am today. I may not be as fast as I once was, but my dance moves are still awesome.
So, maybe this new decade won’t be the horror story I’ve created in my mind. Is it possible that life will go on as normal even if I am 40? Is there really such a thing as normal? Ugh, that’s a blog post for another time! I think it’s time to celebrate me and everyone else rocking into their 40th year. Let’s do this!